| Daffodils and Unicorns |
Ew. I have to change this fruity-tooty blog layout soon. Perhaps...even get rid of this old banner. (It's been a good run, but I feel a need for change.)
Most of you know I lost a dear friend on March 25,2008 (It's been 12 days). Well, I never gave him a name, but I knew he was a guy. Every time I see pictures or hear the mentioning of pictures, I am hit with remorse. I really miss my PowerShot SD1100 IS camera. However, what used to be sadness had altered into a feeling of betrayal or a hint of anger.
I'm unfamiliar to a world with bars on windows, guns beneath pillows, and drugs in high school bathrooms. I know of their existence, but only barely. Sometimes, I'm worried that the world moves too fast for me to catch up. My perspective of life, is like that of a baby turtle. I'm just wondering out in the sand, trying desperately to get into the ocean. Yet, once I get into the ocean, I'm hit with so much shock that I'm lucky to be alive. It's corny of me to say, but I see life as daffodils and unicorns. That is why, I am constantly shocked to hear things like: drugs at school, sex in the bathrooms, or someone from the school killed. It's like getting sucked into a movie; you've never thought it could happen to your world, but it could.
Quite simply, I never thought people were capable of stealing. But apparently, they were. I learned the hard way and I seriously hope this will never ever happen to any of you. Although, a unicorn was sacrificed and a couple of daffodils were uprooted, I'm still far far away from the deep dark woods...for now. As of today, I am still somewhat shock at what I hear around school. Just recently, I learned how to distinguish the smell of weed. I still have much to learn.
I'm getting a new camera that's a fact. But when?
My parents are willing to go sometime this month, but I am torn in two every time I am mentioned of cameras. My first side can't wait to get a camera. It wants to take better care of the new one, so it will never have to go through what the first one went through. It is excited to get possibly a white or pink shade, instead of the sad and dreary blue. It is anxious to get started on the projects that could've been and have nestled in agony in my head. But then, there is the other side. The other side can wait for the camera. "It's a punishment," it would say. "for not being responsible enough. You get what you deserved!" It is against buying a camera at the moment since money's a big issue. (I have to spend already $170 this month and a camera would cost another $170 + tax.) It is also scared. Scared, that perhaps something bad will also happen to this camera too.
But how will I possibly survive?! The past 12 days have already been pretty agonizing. Spring State, Spring Break, Film Project, and etc. are all happening this month; I don't have a camera to remember any of it. I'm sorry for my frustration everyone, but I'm mostly frustrated with me. I wish I was more responsible sometimes, that perhaps I can stop being in the wrong place at the wrong time all the time.
My very first camera lasted more than 3 years. It retired after its battery got too old, and its surface was filled with battle scars. My second camera lasted for almost a year (4 more months and it could've had a birthday).
So, right now I'm scrimping and saving. Don't expect me to go anywhere after school or during weekends because I need to save up. However, you can expect to find me picking various coins up off the floor. Every little bit counts...and my piggy bank is slowly rising (so much for saving some for college).
This was another ridiculously long blog. But it sorta makes up for my lack of attendance here on blogger. I'm sorry guys. Most of you post so frequently, that you've all made me quite green with envy. Toodles chickadees! ^^
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| 2 Comments: |
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Maybe you don't need a camera. Maybe if you leave behind your camera, you can see the world through your eyes instead of a pixelated screen. In the haste to capture the magic of the moment on film/digital memory, you lose the moment and only capture the skeleton of the moment. I don't know, never mind. That is just how I feel.
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sigh... tats how life is >.<. life will always have its life up and downs ^^"
sigh... it seems like everybody need to spend mucho $$ this month...
haha long blog is always interesting to read ^^
your one blog=three of my blogs =p
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Name: Dyana
Home:
About Me: I am an odd person. I'll admit it because I can't really figure out who I am exactly. I think that's what life is partially about: figuring out who you really are, that, and happiness. I don't think many do find out who they really are in the end, but make a marvelous journey trying. I think that's beautiful. Frankly, I don't really want to find that one word or thing that would describe me perfectly. I think I'll just sit along with the ride and let everything just roll as it goes. I'm a very spontaneous person.
See my profile...
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Brushes by Gvalkyrie
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posted by Dyana at 
Maybe you don't need a camera. Maybe if you leave behind your camera, you can see the world through your eyes instead of a pixelated screen. In the haste to capture the magic of the moment on film/digital memory, you lose the moment and only capture the skeleton of the moment. I don't know, never mind. That is just how I feel.